Neighbour 1: I was very shy as a kid and couldn’t have imagined having 4,356 friends on Facebook! Neighbour 2: I am close at about 3,890 friends! Neighbour 3: Wow, that’s awesome man, I have about 650-odd friends on Facebook. Will catch up with you guys one day! (Roars of laughter among the trio, followed by a collective glance at me) Me: Er, I have about 170 connections. Friends are a handful; maybe about 2 or 3? In fact, even among those 170-odd connections, only about 20-30 wish me on my birthday! Neighbour 1 (ignoring my cynicism and furthering Zuckerberg’s optimism): It feels nice to have many social media followers, too! I mean, like a celebrity or something! (Neighbour 2 and Neighbour 3 nod in 100% agreement) Neighbour 1 (triumphant): You have followers? Me: Hai na, my Mom. Wherever I go, she diligently follows! (Over-ruled, topic changes to numbers on Twitter). #VirtuallySocial #FameCanBeLame