Sir, terrorists from Pakistan attacked a bus carrying pilgrims. Mantriji: Really? Great! See, our threats to China worked. We flexed our muscle, and the Chinese couldn’t enter Kashmir! Diplomat: Sir, the dispute with China is not for Kashmir; it is for Doklam near Sikkim. Mantriji: Really? Let me check Twitter. I keep tweeting 60 tweets per minute. Diplomat: Sir, how do we handle the unfortunate killing of innocent pilgrims. Mantriji: Hmm, let me tweet and condemn, first. It is a part of our process flow. After that, we need to condemn for the next 2 weeks, every alternate day. Diplomat: Sir, but didn’t we criticize our predecessors for lip-service? Mantriji: We did? Let me check Twitter. No one can criticize us for paying lip-service; after all, the sale of lipsticks under our regime has grown by leaps and bounds! And, did you know, condemn is the best contraceptive? It helps Governments from being con-damned! #AbKiBaarCondemnKarteHainYaar