Yaar, please, for once, make me President of India. Why? I want to serve people. I feel for the poor. I love my country. All Indians are my brothers, others and sisters. I am young and DYNAMITE. Ok, honestly, I want a ride in the Maybach surrounded by beautiful horses, gun-wielding SPG commandos, live in the Rashtrapati Bhavan and retire therein. I can read with or without tele-prompter on the eve of Independence Day and Republic Day. I wouldn’t walk away when the national anthem is ON like Moody did. I can stand and salute our armed forces for one hour and 40 minutes, without chewing gum like Obama did while the Indian national anthem was ON. Donald Trump chews brains or whatever remains in that country. While Trump walked a few steps enroute to the White House from Capitol Hill, I can walk on Rajpath; jog and run, too! Awesome weather in Dilli! Please yaar, make me President. It’s a cool job, and my appointment will yield solid returns on investment. What’s more, I promise to pay the tax-bearers some of their demonetized 500-rupees. Ok? Whatever! #PresidentofIndYEAH!