I still run from pillar-to-post and eat chai-with-toast despite my Prime Minister announcing that every Indian is a VIP. This is because none listens to me when I say that I am a VIP. I still don’t get subsidized loans, rations, free lunches, dinners, chai-paani, foreign travel nor multiple palatial residences. I don’t *own* a cavalcade of 40-cars minus red beacons, nor the traffic ever stops for me. I still need to stand in the darshan Q of all Gods: Lord Indra, God Devendra and Supreme Godhead Narendra. I don’t own the law, nor am I possessed by 100 gun-wielding SPG commandos to accompany me for treatment of cold by world-renowned specialists of AIIMS and/or Breach Candy! I still gaze at the Air India plane from the edge of the packed 8.45 am CST fast train, wondering if it’s Gaikwad’s shoes or his Kolhapuri slippers that cause facial pain?! I am a VIP? Maybe. But wait, did my Prime Minister in his Hinglish accent imply Very Impotent Person? Huh?! Haha! #KyaPopatBanarelaHai #BeWearVIP