So, what does Nawaz’s day look like? Get up at 5 am; the alarm resembling multiple detonated bombs on M,W,F and gunshots on T,T,S. 6 am: Check mail to ascertain that he is still the PM. Sleep. 6.45 am: check mails with eagerness to ascertain if Raheel is alive. 6.46 am: curse his fate. Sleep. 8 am: call from Raheel. 8.05 am: diarrhea. 8.30 am: call to check if the office building still stands. 9 am: leave for office. Enroute, read Bombay Times, Page 3. 9.30 am: reach office and fill his water bottle. 9.45 am: check mail to see if ships have crossed the Panama canal. 10 am: confidential meeting with Hafiz and Zaki to discuss all-fayda. 1 pm: lunch with Raheel. 1.05 pm: diarrhea. 1.30 pm: daily pledge of ensuring that nothing’s OK in PoK. 1.45 pm: meeting new recruits and admiring their Guns-n-Poses. 3 pm: Listen to Modi’s Mann ki Baat. 3.15 pm: checking Kashmir’s weather on accuweather. 3.30 pm: daily call with Xi’s interpreter. 4.30 pm: the daily urge to immigrate to London. 5.15 pm: call from Raheel. 5.20 pm: diarrhea. 6 pm: shut down. 8 pm: reach Home. 8.30 pm: dinner time. 9 pm onwards: coordinate Uri, Pathankot, Mumbai and Kashmir. Hai na, sahi? Sun UN sun, Nawaz ki dhun…!