Nah Munna Nah, there’s a lot more to M. M for Madras. M for Moonlit. M for Marina. M for MGR. M for Memorial. M for Meditation. M for Mystery. M for Million. M for Money. M for MLA. M for Minister. M for Majority. M for Minority. M for Modi. M for Maya. But that’s in UP? Sorry, M for Mind it. And, P for People, D for Democracy? Haha, yenna rascala, you will never find it! #MitronKeKhiladi

Neighbour 1, ensuring his voice is heard throughout the workout area: its been ages since I am working out in our building's gym. I have been traveling so much. Of course, I stay at the Taj, Hilton, ITC, Novotel, and they have a chauffeur-driven pick-up and drop, a BIG pool or two, and big gymnasiums! Neighbour 2 (believes in competition, cutting short Neighbour 1): I travel so much that the agents at both domestic and international airports know me! I mean, I live out of th...e bag. Neighbour 3, with shock, awe, admiration and planes in his eyes, can't even blink, nonetheless: yes, yes, I see you guys on Facebook. Amazing yaar. My turn, when the trio look at me: aah yes, I travel, too. First, take a bus to the railway station, alight at Ghatkopar, board a Metro to Marol and then walk to work; an everyday feature. Neighbours, force a smile and disperse. Me, to myself: and I just told them a one-way itinerary! Haha! #ShowSharaaba

Mohandas Bhai, you were solid haan Bhai. I mean, you gave up an established barrister practice to fight for some unknown set of 200 million Indians? Sahi hai boss! In my time, parents prioritize careers, money and property above their own children, while children prioritize themselves over everyone else; and you sacrificed your life for a nation?! Garnered a nationwide movement? Fought the might of a 200-year-old empire? Minus any intent for Facebook likes? Solid haan, yaar. In my time, people spend 100,000-rupees in a 7-star hotel to learn about “winning leadership” in 3 days; and you relentlessly led in that humble dhoti? In crushing winters? On fast? Trust me, I can’t give up dal-chawal even for a day! Partition? You did your best with what you could; in the 21st century, depression runs so high that people can’t keep themselves together, let alone a country! Haha! In fact, couples can hardly breathe next to each other even if they brush with Close-up, and you kept a nation’s fire burning? Gandhi Bapu, I am your devout fan; let the world think and say what they can! #GandhiKiAandhi

Yaar, how do they manage to clean a breezy sea-facing 6-BHK, when it takes months of rigorous motherly follow-up, mummy gyaan and thin-amma efforts to bring me up to speed to clean one ceiling fan?! Perhaps, they’re more responsible; I am not. And then, 6-BHKs also have servants; we have one house-help. She takes leave just when I thought I could believe! Mom says, it’s your Home, why depend on someone else to clean it? Didn’t Moody demonetize my bank account? My money? Say no, Mummy? She says, don’t act funny. Ok, but what’s with the 6-BHK if it must remain empty with chandelier ceilings, distemper walls and antique furniture, and filled with servants and butlers? Anyway, tiding over my suburban mentality, it’s not so much about the sea-facing 6-BHK; it’s my home ceiling that’s pulling, just when I decided to make my weekend a little more fulfilling! Haha! #SeeLingeringFan

Astronomers and astrologers, could you please check planets and their positions that seem to be affecting the world, since November 08, 2016? I mean, land turns to water, earth to sky, Jaya can just die, and a Donald caricature gets Presidential candidature. There’s a sudden note ban just when the commoner starts to think he can. Will it help to tie a lemon at the door of the White House to ward-off immigrant eyes? What should be the length, width and diameter of the Mexican Wall? Back Home, was it rahu-ketu that made a former Indian Prime Minister bathe with the raincoat ON? And, was he bathing alone? Does this also imply that Prime Ministers watch while others are bathing? Is it a part of demonetization vigilance? When do Prime Ministers bathe when they work 18 hours a day? Is bathing the reason that Prime Ministers love the ghats of Ganga where people wash everything except themselves? Ram Teri Ganga Neeli Peeli? Which location is auspicious for construction of Ram temple? Ayodhya? Godhra? Amethi? Kala Nagar in Bandra East? Dilli? And what’s up with Chennai’s fate? Is it the recent curse of the bull? Or a magical power that has a very strong pull? How to bring about a positive change there? Change latitude? Longitude? Attitude? Huh? #DuniyaJholHai

Uddhav fights Devendra. Rahul fights Narendra. Mulayam fights his son. His son fights his uncle. His uncle fights his brother. His brother fights his son, who fights his sister-in-law, who fights her father-in-law. Midst so much brother-daughter-don’t-even-bother fight, Maya wants to show her might, too. But, since everyone is engaged in their own battles, she has very little to do. In the interim that everyone is fighting against one another, despite being with one another, the voter in me remains confused as to who is fighting whom. And, is my vote worthy, after all? Hmm, maybe. Bas, kar bhala, pray to God and don’t dream of Sasikala! #YehHiHaiFrightChoiceBaby

Sir, I am from UP. He: Aah, you are a Bhaiya. Me: Yes Sir, you can consider me your younger brother. He: Nako baba, by bhaiya I meant BHAIYA, not like Raj Bhaiya. Me: Sir, why hate me? Ram and Krishna were born in UP, too. He: They were God, I am God, while you are just an eye-pod, bitter gourd. Me: Yes Sir, No Sir, what’s your reaction to the budget, Sir? He: What budget? Just because someone sits in the Ministry, stands in the Parliament and travels in-between, does that make him Jet Li? Look at him, he isn’t even beautiful like Priyanka Gandhi! Me: Sir? Ok, and what’s your agenda for the elections? He: @$%^&, &*^%$^ and @&^%$. Me: Sir, profanity? Abusive language? He: irrespective of public position, this is *THE* language and agenda in elections these days, tone of a ditch! Me: Sir, ok, have you celebrated Valentine’s Day ever? He: Of course, though, only in private. Me: Wow, you gifting wifey a Lotus this Valentine? He: Why lotus? No way, LOTUS resembles POTUS; Donald Trump, remember? As for roses, they are red, you eat bread, violets are blue, Moody just flew, and while you flush the Swachh Bharat loo, let me dream of the skies high above you! #VotesandBanks