Why did you apply for this job? Simple, because when I started my career, diesel was selling at 35-rupees, and now it sells at 69. Ok, what are the qualities of a leader? A leader is a prolific orator who can also cry, speak to everyone without listening to anyone, has willingness and ability to travel, and above all, has the undying spirit of blaming everyone, including the Ice Age, Shrek, Gods and Dinosaurs. Ok, if you wouldn't have applied for this job, what would you be doing? I would be a *chowkidaar* sipping tea at a railway station. What are your educational qualifications? I obtained a post-graduate degree from Yale long before it came into existence. Right, how do you handle a conflict? Easy, just create another one. Interesting, and how do you handle a non-performer? That's easy, too; allot them a position in either of the Union Ministries of Education, Finance, Textiles or Information & Broadcasting. Do you believe in God? Yes, I chant Lord Ram's name every 5 years and take credit for Maa Ganga's *cleanliness*, every day. Good, where do you see yourself 5 years from now? Hmm, I see myself standing outside a bank queue waiting to exchange demonetized 2,000-rupee notes. Nice, if we were to offer you the job, what will you bring to the table? Crores in loans from Punjab National Bank and some air tickets. So? Try me?!