Wildlife photographers and film makers, in case you decide to focus your lens towards a concrete jungle, please visit Bombay; it would be a Discovery, that can represent the entire Nation so-graphic that you will begin to yearn for the Animal Planet, dearly! By the way, when you come-a-calling in the concrete jungle, do be on the lookout for a species called "Pandu", er, no, not Panda. You will "Pandu" on the road, under a tree, if one remains, or behind a light pole! The dexterity with which "Pandu" hunts for his prey is truly amazing; on seeing him in action you will end up saying, Cheeta Bhi Feeka Hai!

Multinationals, think glocal and get contacts to have your way with business in a country where every local sentry to the central Mantri is willing go all out to make things happen for ya! Want inferior-structure projects? They'll rage the bull-dozers for you to provide land at dirt-cheap rates, along with all the know-now through a "single-window" system to help you bag these projects on a Bribe-Operate-Lease-Thrive (BOLT) basis! Want Coal? Fine. They will do every thing to ensure you get the lie-sense; after all, it's only they who can stand up and laugh their way to the bank despite causing staggering losses of 1.86 lakh crore to the national exchequer! Fodder. Stock Market. Mega Events mismanagement. Not-so-real estate. Et al. Opportunities are galore. Leave Jobs, enter the thrill Gates and raise a toast to a soaring Buffet called India!

Mr.Prime Minister, yet another prepped up speech on yet another Independence Day, with an observation that "we've come a long way"! Indeed. You see, we've travelled many naughty-cal miles from the vision of true leaders of yore who dreamt of a country where the mind is without fear and the head is held high! A vision, where knowledge is free, and not afflicted by scams in as basic a right as eddication! A vision, where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls of religion, casteism, gender, socio-economic status and region by those in power! Vision, Mr.Prime Minister. Unfortunately, for the billion JANA GANA MANA, ABHI KHALNAYAK (KI) HI JAYA HAI; WOH HI HAIN BHARAT (KE) BHAGYA VIDHAATA!

At home. Inside the elevator. In the building lobby. At the building entrance or at the bus stop. In the BEST bus. Inside an autorickshaw who obliged to ply. At the railway station, in the ticket queue. On the railway platform or the railway bridge. In a parking lot or a shopping mall. In offices. Public. Private. Bombay is no longer safe. For WOMEN. Bambai Meri Maan, ab Dilli Door Nahin!

Greetings Lord Krishna and wish you a very Happy Birthday! Please feel welcomed to witness how numerous "Govindas" are out on the streets of Bombay to emulate the feat you achieved with your pals thousands of years ago; the only difference is that while you, in all innocence, wanted to fetch the utterly butterly delicious mom-made butter, the contemporary "Govindas" are up in arms (!) to get that coveted cash prize ranging from a few (?) lakhs to many crores! The quest to break the "matki" is encouraged by some foot-tapping music by Chikni Chameli, Sheela, Munni, Jalebi, Raaz, Murder, Jism etc, in audio and VISUAL; all the grand celebrity fanfare and adulation is fully sponsored by leaders in power and those outside of it! Bhishma? Karna? Arjun? Duryodhana? Eklavya? Forget them, Krishna. India's reinvented into an AdharMahabharata.

Mohammed Ajmal Amir Kyasaab, kya haal hain? Four years inside the high-security prison would have been a revelation, huh? You must have learnt so much about India and its weather, people, the infrastructure, festivals, veg and non-veg food menu and a leadership (?) which is an exact replica of those you see in Khaki and plain clothing, each passing day! In case you get a chance to convey a message to your bosses in Napakstan, let them know that they needn't waste money, youth and resources to create chaos here, since India's own dealership, er, leadership is going GREAT GUNS in that direction! Meanwhile, it's been four eventful years of our association with you, and we hope that you are enjoying a safe and pleasant extended stay in our country where every Pest is God!

Yet another series of "minor" bomb blasts. Yet another terrorist attack. Yet another surge in media frenzy. Yet another lakh of compensation. Yet another furore and condemnation. Yet another "assurance" that the "perpetrators will be bought to book". Yet another temporary phase of law enforcement and action. Yet another enquiry commission. Yet, another?