I tried and it worked for me. I checked into an international airport terminal class one lounge, flew business class to a couple of international destinations, drove on InterState Highways, attended multinational conferences at 5-stars while staying there too, clicked photos, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner at ocean-facing restaurants and occasionally on rooftops under the stars, slept, dreamt, woke-up, bathed, had a phone chat with my Mother, told her I Love You and returned Home in my original avatar. It’s proven, thus: I can still travel, eat, digest, sleep, dance, party, have fun, love and do much more minus display on Zuckerberg media, and without the public subscribing to my life’s encyclopedia. After all, barring a few, half of them don’t even care, some aren’t glad when I am there, a quarter are square, while the balance wonder if I have any hair?! Not fair. Haha! #SheSellsEmptyVesselsOnTheSeeShow

Nawaz: Chief, the International Court of Justice will pronounce its verdict on the Kulbhushan Jadhav case today. Army Chief: Justice? What’s that? Which court? Let me know it’s location; am sure, one of our lawyers is carrying a suicide vest. Nawaz: the ICJ is in The Hague, Netherlands. Army Chief: Netherlands? Did anyone from our suicide bombing division detonate a bomb there? And what a funny name, The Hague? I mean, we are such a formidable country, yet we don’t have any place or thing called The Islamabad, The Karachi, The Lahore, The Pakistan or The Nawaz. Nawaz: just between us, swear on the chicken soup, is Jadhav an Indian spy? For real? Army Chief: between us, swear on the military coup, are you Pakistan’s Prime Minister? For real? Huh? #TheSpyWhoNeverWas

Yaar, this is so darn funny, when there's just a day in the year for Mummy! In any case, midst so much digital love, likes and greetings flowing on the Net, I hope to see another's Ammi as my own Mummy, and never be a peeping Tom to another's Mom! By the way, if today is Mom's Mother Day, then tomorrow onwards will it be Mom's just another day?! Huh?! Haha! #VirtualLove #EkDinKiRaniSauDinKaBaaja

Yaar, yeh Hindi serial killers on channels with fancy names? O my God! They must be contributing atleast 50% of the total revenue of the global beauty and cosmetics market! What’s more, they just don’t give up on TRPs! The constipated characters die to be born again until they die to return from the dead to die again until the next rebirth! The characters also dance and marry. Separate. Dance. Re-marry. Separate. Dance. Re-marry. Separate. And become Union Textile and HRD Ministers. It’s high time, the Union Ministry of Law, Information & Fraudcasting considered daily soaps as an extremely viable alternative to 3rd degree torture. Bole toh, ab ki baar Hindi serial killer hai yaar!

India is such a big country. Heading or beheading, whatever happens in Kashmir, slays only in Kashmir. What follows is a big series of tweets featuring “fierce condemnation” and “sacrifice of jawans won’t go in vain”. Yeh Ministers mein kitna gas hai yaar; khaate kya hain yeh log?! Haha! #NaKhaoongaNaKhaaneDoonga