Aai yo, it’s crime, er, time to celebrate! Amma bin Chennai kahaan re…..hira nahin (?), chandi nahin (?), kuch na mila (?), woh toh ghar chali re! Ssshh….ssshhh….ssshhh….Sushamma, Vana-kam in BJP? Together, we’ll 'frame" the law that (only) appear Rajni, and when punishment appears So-nia, it becomes Ghajini!

Hon. Health  and Law Ministers of Delhi, I understand you and the team are in midst of an "ajeeb jung" and Gamlin with power at the moment! Though, I would still like to draw your attention towards a convict - Sohanlal Bharatha WALMIKI - who assaulted a nurse with a dog chain in a Bombay hospital more than 40 years ago; he served a (mere) 7-year jail sentence, released and now works in the capacity of a ward boy in a Delhi hospital! Given Walmiki's (are the "pracharaks" listening?) expertise with dog chains and his condemnable criminal antecedents, hope you take note of this RAW information and take appropriate measures; after all, when it comes to law, health and well-being, prevention is always better than cure!

Aruna Shanbaug. Born, 1947. Dead, 1973. India. Born, 1947. In vegetative state, ever since.

Sir, I thought to share with you the news in this morning's newspapers that made my day, "accha din"; news on new car model launches from luxury stables with a starting price of INR 1.5 crore and INR 40 lakh, respectively! Now that these mean machines have made been affordable to a class of people, however small, I, of the riddle-class, thought to update you on the ex-showroom prices of dal, chawal, sabzi, roti, CHAI (tea, remember?), sugar, dude, er, doodh, being displayed at highly discounted and unaffordable rates; though, newspapers remain affordable, until now - I read them online, no! By the way, Sir, is the safety of these new mean machines priceless on-road? Yes? For the common man or Salman?

Wanted. A driver who can demarcate a road from a footpath. A singer who can be a thinker and demonstrate minimal IQ by differentiating between people and canine; a celebrity who chooses between being human and acting divine. A fan who separates a mass entertainer from a murderer. A law that distinguishes a victim from a convict. A state-of-mind that does NOT accord preferential treatment to a celebrity murderer since the deceased is “only one” pavement dweller. Bole toh, kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hain, but midst crimes of Cheap Justice of India, sab (Jaya)Chalita hai; woh dekho Amma, (Satyam) Raju bhi Sallu nikal gaya!

Kamaal karte hain (Judge) Deshpandeji, tera saal baad jo aap ne judgement de di, phir bhi main aapki nahin sunta; hum iss case mein itne ched kar denge, ki Bombay High Court bhi confuse ho jayega ki gaadi footpath pe chali ya road pe! Dekha nahin aapne, ho gayi chhutti, mil gayi bail, ab kal bhi hum nahin gaye jail, ek baar phir kanoon ho jayega fail, when big money’s on sale!

Justice delayed; blame the judiciary. Justice denied; blame the judiciary. Justice DELIVERED; blame the judiciary? By the way, let’s pledge not to drink and drive, lest we end up asking ourselves one May, Maine Maar Kyon Diya?!

Sire, She is a mother, sister, wife, friend, an adorable daughter to doting parents, colleague and above all, a free (?) citizen of a modern India (by the way, checked out rural hinterlands, eh?!), that commissions billion-dollar deals for fighter jets and submarines, envisages smart cities, speaks volumes of a technology-driven revolution, improved S&P (Standardised & Poor) ratings, reduced def-is-it?, improved GDP (Gross Domestic Poverty!), etc, and yet is unable to provide Her with a sense of security. Moga. Delhi. Bombay. Bangalore. Calcutta. Goa. Board a bus? Or train? Hail a cab? Use the elevator? 5-star or no-star. Kindergarten to Khar Market, the question lingers. Sire, Rafale speaking, as part of your extensive travel itinerary, it would be wise to include the "Chop Chop Square" in KSA and leverage their best practices to be customized and introduced in India; after all, Sire, a Happy Journey should always culminate into a desired destination, and not be misguided by an Uber app, huh?