If my country showed even a billionth fraction of blind love, loyalty and devotion towards their own family and friends like they show for Narendrabhai, divorces would disappear, joint families would reappear and friends and neighbours would look near and dear, without any doubt or fear. But that is fantasy. Hence, this 'Karwa Chauth' I will pray for Narendrabhai's long life since *He* is the "last and only hope for India"; even IITs, IIMs, IISc, FMS, JBIMS, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Ironman and Manmohan, oops sorry, pale infront of him 😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂#OPaalanhareStopChargingLagaan #KillsAndBoons

Railway Minister of India, Piyush GoYell says that loss in employment is a good thing as it encourages entrepreneurship. In which case, death by rail accidents is good since it helps confirm wait-listed tickets? What's more, a Cheap Minister of a Northern State where children died due to apathy and rampant corrupt practices has the audacity to invite his Keralite counterpart to "understand management of hospitals" showing complete disregard and disrespect for parents of dead children! Are these chaps on dope? Anyway, I just returned from the supermarket where cauliflower is selling at 120-rupees-a-kilo + GST; hence, I will fill 1-litre petrol instead! 😣 Yeh Guru aur inke yeh sab chele, Uff! Bachao mujhe, O Ram Rahim 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 #GSTRatesViaLuckyDraw #DimaagNahinYehMaalGaadiHai

Good morning, Sunday. While everyone performed "Laxmi Puja" last year, only the likes of Mukeshbhai saw an increase in wealth at number 1 position, and Patanjali's Balakrishna at number 8 position; of course, everyone else, both, listed and unlisted, grew richer, too. That this happened in the year of demonetization shows that honesty always pays rich dividends. Hence, this 'Karwa Chauth', I pray for long lives of those honest people who stand in queues so that others don't have to; now, please don't ask "kaun", "kaise" or "Q" 🤔🤔😂😂😂 #AapKataarMeinHainQatarMeinNahin #HonestyIsThePestFallacy

I am so much like Narendrabhai Modu-JEE: September-born, pure vegetarian, 100% teetotaler, believer of Lord Ram and a lover of chai, khakhra and khichdi. In fact, the resemblance becomes even more stark when I cook lunch one Sunday every 3 years or help my Mother dry clothes one Saturday every 1 year, and then go chest-thumping about these rare feats, everyday. But then, like all good things, the resemblances end there, since I don't have many friends or any followers like Modu-JEE. In fact, only a handful friends wished me on my birthday this year; I needs to somethings dynamites to comes on par withs Modu-Jis 😂😂😂😂 #HappySundayAayega #DekhaKyaBhikas

Nahin yaar, 16000 doesn't refer to the Sensex! Tell me, did your salary ever increase 16000 times? No? Ok, 1600 times? No? Chalo, 160 times? Never? Fine, 16 times? Nahin? Then? No increase due to demonetization? Fair. If not you, at least someone is making money? Be happy about that. So what even if he is called Mallya Vijay or Shah Jay? 😂😂😂😂 #KyaBaapKamaalHai #KaunBanGayaCrorePati

A few youngsters have an identity crisis? Or so it appears. They look Indians by birth, yet try to look, walk, act and dress American, listen to a question in Hindi and answer it in American English with a British-American-Indian-local-mother-tongue accent, while constantly pretending to chew gum even when there’s none. Such is their generous usage of “what the f***” and its counterpart, the f*** word, that words alone can extra-populate the Earth’s population a thousand-times-over. Kya yaar, is this what youth does to you? Pray, this too shall pass. #StudDon’tBeADud #HeyDudeWhySoCrude #WhatTheYuck

Date: 03^rd October 2017. Day: Tuesday. Time: 4.15 pm. My location: ground floor. Vijay Mallya’s location: in the courtroom, pronounced arrested. Time: 4.17 pm. My location: 2^nd floor. Vijay Mallya’s location: in his convoy of 8 SUVs heading Home. Time: 4.22 pm. My location: checking grocery bill. Vijay Mallya’s location: his mansion in London checking *dates* for the next Kingfisher calendar shoot. The timings mentioned above are local and situational, the views expressed here are personal and are not meant to endorse any celebrity, including Mr.Mallya or myself. For those who feel good times have arrived, congratulations! For those who feel good times are yet to arrive, please take a look at the Kingfisher calendar #AbKiBaarToduSarkaar #HailTheQueenTheBailCameQuickAndClean