Pedestrians in Bombay are far-sighted. Hence, they walk on the road to avoid being run over by vehicles that are driven on footpaths, and walk on the railway track to avoid trains climbing on to the platform. By the way, "Locals" seem to be running riot these days to avoid "outsiders" (read, bullet trains) taking their place; how technology apes man? Hey literally, woh dekho, "platform number chaar ki gaadi, platform number chaar par aa rahi hai!"

And as those in power, and those thirsting for it are at constant loggerheads as to who met whom met Modi met Swaraj met Vasundhara met Dushyant met Kaushal met Modi met Priyanka met Vadra met Modi met Jaitley, elsewhere in India that ELECTED them, a farmer contemplates suicide; a woman is physically abused; a hefty bribe is paid to get a ration card; people continue to hope for "acche din" with 24-hour electricity and clean drinking water; potholes get deeper; traffic worsens; rickshaw-drivers say "No" to ply; bail is granted for a serious offence; infested meals are served under the midday meal scheme; doctors strike work until demands are met; illegal transactions happen via hawala; parents shell out their hard-earned money for a (hefty) donation to admit their children in school; builders extend their promise of flat possession by another 4 years...et al...et al! By the way, midst all this meeting business, can those in power Be Human and meet me on "humanitarian grounds"? No? Tweet about me? No? Meet you? No?! Tweet about you? No?! Why?!

A wet-and-warm invite to all Geologists studying Black Holes and how they can enable time travel. Please visit Bombay, the financial capital of India, that spends INR 35,000 crore every year on their creation and up..er, downkeep. On viewing these black holes, does one realize how the earth's crust looked like millions of years ago; went back in time, didn't ye? And once you've gone back in time, please meet Charles and tell him how humans in a city are rapidly evolving into ...cattle-class amphibians, with their skills to wade through neck-deep waters with dexterity! Oceanographers, you'd be puzzled by the annual "Sangam" of the Powai and Vihar lakes meeting the Arabian Sea, right in the middle of a busy road! And above all, those looking to make a career in Public Relations, please learn your lessons from a Government that "manages" it's affairs via tweets for every thing - from allegations to celebrations, and congratulations to condolences. Ouch!

Ssshmaa, in all extra...er, external affairs, always keep the Lalit card close to the chest! Of course, every day and every hour, you've got the Visa power, yet, na jaane kahaan aur kis Modi pe Swaraj ka ticket kat jaaye?! By the way, it's interesting to see different meanings, interpretations and outcomes (!) of "Being Human", "Humanitarian", in contrast to those I learnt in the school Moral Science textbook...or has the curriculum changed? Smriti? Huh?

(Jhumla!) Baatein toh acche din ki thi, raat ko toh Janhavi Gadkar bhi Salman superstar hai! Arre, ab toh uske paas bhi ek Audi car hai, pee-poo (!) ke woh nikli wahaan, jin raaston par kai gareeb aur bekaar parivaar hain...jee haan, uss car par Jaan-havi savaar hai, jab woh peeye beshumaar hai...uff, dekho, uss caar ke pahiyon par khoon ki bauchar hai, gyarah km tak kanoon ko kiya dar-kinaar hai...maar diya toh darna kya, media, eyewitness, Reliance on her, Jaan-havi ke paas paison ki bharmaar hai!

"Beti bachao, Beti padhao" ka naara toh sab deta hai, par Nar(endra) se (Som)Nath tak har koi emotional atyachaar karta hai! By the way Jitendra, Tomar Smriti mein Kaunse Class mein Kabhi Bahu Thi? Yale? Or Fail?!

My brethren continue to deposit our, er, their zillions in the safe havens of Swiss Alps, drive your economy (er, Zurich-headquartered FIFA included!), and still you "LEAD" me to believe in your 2-minute Money-Spinning-(G)lootomate (MSG) noodles?! Nestle SA toh nahin hota, I mean, how could you think it would be funny to play with my tummy with ads that show infested noodles to be a "bas 2 minute" favorite of my Mummy?!