Look Pal, no Bill; just divide to rule! By the way, the scenes "enacted" in the Parliament yesterday point towards the biggest irony of our times: none of those occupying seats of power are (or will ever be!) serious about tackling the evil of corruption! Ecocomically speaking, the richer will continue to become richer, poor will turn poorer and the middle-class will be khallas!

Anna, Hazare political rallies, communal riots, bomb blasts and terror (!) attacks on innocent 'outsiders' have been witnessed by BOMBAY, the commercial capital of India; of course, while the (heavily!) taxed citizens paid a very heavy price with their lives and property, no compensation whatsoever was forthcoming in form of law, order and security! Hence, for those who oppose your noble cause (I bow to your 'Brahmacharya' way of life!) at the Bandra-Kurla Complex grounds, I suggest to erect a sign board right outside the ground that reads, 'Inconvenience caused to powers-that-be is highly regretted; please hear the common citizens for a better tomorrow' (!)

Shok Sabha: where Manmohan's Rajya and Bharat's Junk Party, along with powers-that-be care a damn-o-cracy!

Indian laws are flexi-muscle; SPS Rathore, a custodian of law who victimized a girl and her family and was ultimately responsible for her death, was not only granted bail, but also stands entitled to a pension! Obviously, with so much power and money, the going HAS to be smooth, criminal! After all, India's thandaa kanoon is only about dating; tareekh pe tareekh, tareekh pe tareekh, tareekh pe tareekh!

Babe, yeah!/yo!/whatever!, let's make a lot happen over coffee! It's time when dad pays for each dime and we can have a damn good time; let's live-in to make merry (strictly, not marry!) and forget all worry about the monthly Blackberry! Though, wait a moment; I hear the coffee tables will become legendary fables (!) when it's my turn to learn to earn; it's then I will see how earning-to-spend each penny is simply not funny and gives so much heartburn! Of course, midst all this chaos, dad - with all his (extremely!) limited daily needs - will still stand by me, bhale hi Hum Tum Saath Saath Kal ho na ho!

Once upon a time (though, not so long ago!), in a land (that seemed) far away, there existed twin hill-stations, Lonavala and Khandala; these twin spots were clean holiday destinations that nourished the much-needed fresh air and offered some of nature's most spectacular and breath-taking views! However, with express-way of crime (!) and the dime becoming supremely prime (!), these became kill-stations, natural flora and fauna were replaced by a rapidly growing concrete jungle and the tinge of fresh air was a goner! Dekh Lona, in this scenario, koi kitna bhi Aamir kyon na ho, Rani toh poochegi hi: Kya Karoon jaake main Khandala?!

Hey Sebastian, Vetted the trophy thoroughly? Hope it isn't a statue of India's expensively cheap minister, MayaFati! By the way, I am not sure whether you should be willing to look forward to the race in 2012 when the same Minister might come up with a call for lane-reservation for Scheduled Cars and Scheduled Drives! On a side
note, you might have surely super-liked (superlative these days!) the... vast expanse of Buddh International Circuit; gave you and the Red Bull, Wings, eh! There are many similar circuits in a lot of places in India; they're called short circuits and are primarily responsible for many a million Indians (in a country of one billion) barely being able to catch the action of any kind within their own homes, let alone TV! Anyway, do visit
Bombay when you come a-calling, next; you'd be surprised to see how Bombayites continue to WIN despite there being Formula NONE!

Hey Sebastian, Vetted the trophy thoroughly? Hope it isn't a statue of India's expensively cheap minister, MayaFati! By the way, I am not sure whether you should be willing to look forward to the race in 2012 when the same Minister might come up with a call for lane-reservation for Scheduled Cars and Scheduled Drives! On a side
note, you might have surely super-liked (superlative these days!) the... vast expanse of Buddh International Circuit; gave you and the Red Bull, Wings, eh! There are many similar circuits in a lot of places in India; they're called short circuits and are primarily responsible for many a million Indians (in a country of one billion) barely being able to catch the action of any kind within their own homes, let alone TV! Anyway, do visit Bombay when you come a-calling, next; you'd be surprised to see how Bombayites continue to WIN despite there being Formula NONE!

Vijay's losing Flings Fisher! Mallya bhai, bole toh, bade logon ne bola ki daaru, aurat aur paise ki aadat bahut buri hai; dekho raaton raat ho gaya na bandh fisher?!

Silk Smitha or Vidya Balan, whose Dirty Picture is it any way, huh?! Er, no offence intended; it's just that every second ("loose") motion picture one see nowadays is a dirty one!

Mr.Mallya, I, among the billion grounded commoners, are already grappling for a (desperate!) bailout on such BASICS as prices of affordable (?) housing, cooking gas, groceries, transportation, infrastructure, et al; and you're asking for the SKIES, eh! whatever happened to your claim of being the King of Good times? Come on, don't Force India for a bailout now that you've Formula None!

Boy, it's a baby girl! Aapki kya Rai hai, bolo Bacchan. Aaj, in one glitzy city,people post celebratory tweets, while in some distant corner of India, on a similar occasion the world retreats!

Mr.Finance Minister, I am glad you finally took note of me the commoner and weakening of the rupee; seriously, Rs.52 is only able to buy shabbiness! Oh, you only meant rupee weakening against the dollar; trust me to remain strictly blue collar!

Take a seekh from a fellow Sikh; after all, actions cheekh louder than words! Atleast now, will Singh Sing and stop that lousy-yet-Pawarful thing?!

Idiots abound irrespective of qualifications and designations they hold; salaries are rewards paid to (effectively) handle species of this kind!

"Din dhal jaaye haai, raat na jaaye, tu toh na aaye teri yaad sataye....."; "Piya tose naina laage re, jaane kya ho ab aage re...." - Guide (1965), a movie that I have seen at least 7 times and is one of my alltime favorite! Waheeda Rehman looked absolutely stunning (no dirty picture, this!) and Dev sahab was in his element while essaying the role of a human being transcending into the divine; the ultimate truth attained! Sir, your charm and energy will be sorely missed. Shall see you on the other side; until then, rest in peace!

A Shit Sena leader's construction company has sold land worth INR 125 crore to American School of BOMBAY. Surprisingly, there is no hue and cry on usage of the original name, "Bombay"; and how we have been MADE TO BLINK throughout the years with the "dhamki" that everything's in a name, Uncle Same, er, Sam!

It's intriguing to see how CEOs of multinational Corpns or some firang prof from one remote (!) corner of the world scribbles and lectures on India's "prospering middle-class" or for that matter, "India's emerging rural consumer", by quoting (weird) statistics with regard to GDP (why can't it be Gross Domestic Poverty?!) etc. I, of India's "always-in-battle class", would like to extend a reality s...how (!) invite to all these intellects and decision-fakers (!) and urge them to step out of comforts of their air-conditioned homes and offices to experience life of the common citizen on the salary she/he draws and is slaughtered in overcrowded trains and buses, struggles to "adjust" monthly household budgets (KAB pehli tareekh hai?!) and for whom the basic necessities of food, clothing and shelter only remain a dream! Delving even deeper into the veins of the hinterlands of India, would help the aforesaid commentators-on-India see why farmers (who provide us with our daily meal!) commit suicides (ironically, India is still an agricultural country!), electricity is a term that's virtually unheard of, and how complete scarcity of clean drinking water compels rural folks to walk for miles to fetch a pail of water (!); not-to-mention, education, health and sanitation are near-extinct super-luxury items! Of course, at the helm of so much "development" sit some of India's most qualified economists; now, I did hear someone say there are lies, damn lies and statistics, huh?!

So glad to have been nurtured in times when a "teacher's remark" in the school calendar and asking for Dad's signature wasn't "cool"; instead, it evoked much FEAR and has been one of the vital "nutrients" to shape the man in me! By the way, this was that time of the year when we waited with bated breath for "picnic" announcements to happen! Holding hands with a friend having the roll number after mine and "calculating" whether I would get a window seat in the bus was simply thrilling! Even a one-dayer within LUSH GREEN (those were the days!) environs of the Aarey Milk Colony, Vihar/Powai Lake or the Picnic Spot was so much fun!

Wish I never grew up! Miss you St Theresas. Sorely miss Linking Road in days of yore, long before the likes of KFC and McDonalds happened!

As a student, I always felt that rankers were PERFECT in every sphere: they scored exceptional grades, got an exemption from the final exam, made good Monitors, their names never appeared on the board for 'talking' in class and most importantly they would always be ahead in life, while others would struggle. Though, now I see, how life has lessons to teach beyond walls of the closeted classroom: it takes so much more than a rank and degree to be successful (and humbly rooted to where it all started!)

And how we cared a damn about everything else when girls from Durelo Convent held sports rehearsals on our playground! We were the cheerleaders, eh!

‎1980s. At this time of the year, term exams ended and on the last day of the exam, the moment the bell rang, all boys ran out of the classrooms and screamed, "WE WON HOLIDAY!" HAHAHA....the entire atmosphere was charged and most of us headed towards the school ground or the Patwardhan Park for a game of cricket where we played to our hearts content late into the afternoon!

‎1990. Class VII. Mrs.Shakuntala Hegde was my class teacher. She taught English, dressed elegantly and carried herself with much dignity. A proponent of self-discipline, she always maintained that ''discipline cannot be enforced; it needs to come from within''. 20 years later, I see what she meant; indeed, English is NOT a phoney language!

Itni shanti kyon hai bhai?! Arre yeh hai mehengai ka phataka; jaane kahaan kho gaya diwali ka original dhamaka?!

Leo's Rajnikanth Masala: Rajnikanth swam past the Bermuda Triangle and the Atlantic Ocean disappeared!

Leo's Rajnikanth Masala: Once Rajnikanth was bored at home; he went for an evening walk in space!

Leo's Rajnikanth masala: One Chennai morning, some one challenged Rajni to see how hard he could kick the ball. Rajni said, "Yenna Rascalla, see this, I say", and kicked the ball that went into space, past the black hole and into the future, hurling past the goal keeper, landing straight into the goal post! The match was the World Cup final between India and Brazil that India won, 1-0. The year: 2300 AD!

I am so fortunate to belong to a generation that saw love, trust and commitment over ride over all differences and celebrate a Golden Jubilee of togetherness. A generation that saw clean and pure entertainment in black-and-white when Chitrahaar, Nukkad, Wagle Ki Duniya and Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi ruled Prime Time and bought families together. A generation that played OUTDOOR cricket, hockey and football on a rainy
day. A generation that was untouched by the mall culture and played in lush green gardens or simply rode the BSA SLR on weekend evenings. A generation that experienced all seasons in their full bloom. A generation that took pride in India's win of the 1983 World Cup final, when cricket was a game. A generation that saw rib-tickling comedy films like Golmaal, Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, Angoor, etc, that were devoid of item songs and double-meaning jokes and innuendos. A generation that heard radio stations do what they were meant to do: play music. A generation that saw the arrival of the computer, yet considered the pen to be mightier than the typed word! A generation that didn't grow up on such complex terms as Gen-X and Gen-Y. My generation: it was as simple as an ABC and 123!

If Muammar Gaddafi would have been captured in India, he would have been remanded to judicial custody for the next 6 months. India, on account of being a tolerant democracy (??), would refuse handing him over to Libyan or NATO authorities. The Prime Minister would make a statement in the Parliament that Mr.Gaddafi would be treated on par with norms laid down in international conventions: the law would take its own course and ONLY if Mr.Gaddafi were to be found guilty of treason (!), the Government would set up a high-powered committee to "consider" handing him over to Libya or NATO. Until then, Mr.Gaddafi would be lodged in a high-security (!) prison with a lawyer to justify mass-killings he undertook, where he would be served biryani. After 25 years, the Supreme Court would release Gaddafi for lack of evidence. Mr.Gaddafi would participate in Big Boss Season 25 and write a book called Main Hoon Ammar Gaddafi. Bolly wood would produce a film titled Gaddafi ki Maafi that would become a Smash Hit! Else where in the world, America would be preparing to over throw a "dictator" in an oil-rich country, whom they embraced and nurtured for decades saying, Oil is not Well!

Weather to remix or hot is the question. Until such time, it's winter in Bombay; sultry and humid with brief spells of rain!

Please remain Mum Taj Mahal. So what, if you're to collapse within 5 years; you will be the FIRST and only wonder to go down under! Why worry Sara Jahaan? Mayawati's 685-crore blunder is out to steal your thunder; Jah, Taj!

O Rama, what's with USA? First, they Sad-damned Iraq on pretext of WMD. Then they created chaos in Afghanistan to go after terror and its beings whom they themselves nurtured once upon a time. And now, USA has turned its attention towards Iran with whom a war seems a likely possibility; not sure whether this is being done to divert attention of the local populace from a probable recession that seems to be spreading its tentacles, slow-yet-steady. Having said that, Iran - which is no Iraq or Afghanistan - might be an extremely dangerous calculation not only for the USA, but for the whole of humanity!

Don't desire an MBA who clears a "very tough" written test with "flying colours"; an (extra)ordinary graduate with common sense and fire-in-the-belly with an urge to achieve-the-unthinkable-can-do-attitude is all I need! Seriously, no greed, only DIRE need for a near-extinct breed!

Why do CAAAR's have extra leg room, comfortable seating space, spacious headroom, cushione armrests etc these days? Simple: to make everyday long distance travel time of minimum 3 hours one-way, say from Dadar to Andheri, very comfortable! Bole toh, aapki khushiyon ki chaabi, shahar ki badhti aabadi aur paise ki barbaadi; itna sab kuch, aur woh bhi aasaan kishton par!

Jo apni desh ki janta ke hoton pe laye Kabhie (?) (Khud)khushi, Hamesha Gham, woh hain apne Pradhan Mantri, Manmohan SinGHAM!

Rates of mithai and pocket ki pitai; (not) Glad bury celebrations. Aise toh sab meetha kho jaaye!

Ramayana's wisdom in the art of Vijayadashmi: Family, Honor, Truth, Love, Devotion, Commitment, Respect, Courage, Valor, Dignity, Patriotism, Statesmanship, Merit and Management. An era truly lived in style once upon a time in India!

Jaane Bhi do, Paris! As if your scary histrionics on screen and off it weren't enough, you have now evinced interest in acting (?) in a Bollywood phillum! Now then, you have a sharp acumen to identify how dearth of talent and taste in a be-skinny industry shall pose no competition as far as acting skills are concerned! Nonetheless, for good sake of exceptions like me who PAY a cinema hall once in (many!) years (spiraling infuelation, you know!) with hopes of even a little entertainment, it's a sincere request to you to please restrict your self to selling handbags ONLY!

Conman, Mohan. Waise toh saare mulk ki pulis inhe dhoondh rahi hai, par inhe pakadna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai! Kyon? Kyonki aaj unke paas Raja hai, Kalmadi hai, Mayawati hai, Balwa hai, Radia hai, absolute Pawar hai; you see, Sonia yet so far! Aur hamare paas kya hai? Kambakht aaj hum jahaan khade hote hain, line wahin pe khatam hoti hai!

Surreal Estate. Home Sq Feet Home presents a complex with ready ultra-modern amenities like olympic pool, ozone pool, Schindler's Lift (!), gym etc; also Proposed drinking water and power connection; rail, airport, market nearby (pothole and traffic conditions apply); loan available at (strictly personal!) interest rates; we offer all this and much more to ensure that your dream home remains a far-fetched dream!

Ecocomics. At INR 800 per cylinder, India's riddled-class will cook (!) a story each night to put the kids to sleep: ''beta so ja, sapnon mein khana aa jayega!''

‎5th senior citizen murdered in span of one month in the city; Bombay, simply not Human, Right?! All talk about your progression (?!) and status as the financial capital of the country, etc is only a façade until such time that the Aged, Women and Children aren't safe and secure within their own home they fondly call Bombay!

It's a (corporate) jungle out there staging third-rate races in shooting and shirking; what the hell, people still talk of tycoons, huh?!

Tihar? Bail.

‎6.33pm at Dadar railway station, there's something so Ladies Special that makes men stand upright and fake notice!

Domino's, be grounded. Why to open an outlet on the moon when potholed roads in Bombay are even deeper and offer similar experiences of being a Kill Armstrong?!

Man, mohan! India is turning into a complete Annarchy; atleast now you'll Singh?!

Ms.Patil, why don't you set a President (!) in this country whereby mercy petitions of convicts (and terrorists) on death row are disposed off in a timebound manner of months? Understandably, a paid vacation of 5 years in the Rashtrapati Bhavan was an offer you couldn't refuse; however, the crimelines are too demanding and the people of this country want you to work from home!

It's very interesting how hundreds of thousands of aspirants vie for Civil Services each year with intent (and oath!) to serve ration and nation (!) to their uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, father, ma, in-law (and outlaw!), et al! After all, charity begins at home and India is on sale! Of course, (c)evil servants do have a lot in store for me, the commoner; here, Look Pal, Bill!!

Annabhai MBBS, thank you! I now realize how the sun set on an empire when Men walked the earth; only wish to have been there, then!

Man, mohan! India is turning into a complete Annarchy; atleast now you'll Singh?!

It's very interesting how hundreds of thousands of aspirants vie for Civil Services each year with intent (and oath!) to serve ration and nation (!) to their uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, father, ma, in-law (and outlaw!), et al! After all, charity begins at home and India is on sale! Of course, (c)evil servants do have a lot in store for me, the commoner; here, Look Pal, Bill!!

Bombay proudly presents Pothole Tourism! Corporates, feel free to organize employee trainings on how to overcome roadblocks (!) on any road, anytime, anywhere!

The sun does not seem to set on the British quagmire! By the way, London, our Sinisters and law-creepers will now be able to justify outbreak of riots and arson in India, too.

The world's fastest cars are also Bombay's slowest: 0-20 mph (metres per hour!) in 20minutes. Bombay. Am so crowd of you!

Wot holes! Geologists, whatever you wanted to know about the earth's crust, can be seen and felt (!) on Bombay's roads, courtesy, Bombay Municipal Corruption!

One day, two weeks ago, terror made its presence felt in Bombay, yet again, orchestrated by forces known and a media frenzy followed thereafter. Even as the blood stain of the innocent Bombayites is yet to run dry, the country's own media is in a full-swing PR activity on behalf of visiting Pakistan's Foreign Sinister, Hina Khar, and her collection of stylish expensive handbags and globe-trotting ways!

Reserve Blank of India, you raised interest rates by 50 basis points to control inflation thereby paving way to break 50 basic joints! By now, me the commoner, despite not having attended B-school, er, basic school, knows how all is economixed! BTW, on a strict personal note, in view of increased EMI and reduced bank balance, how to woo a woman in times when money and honey are synonymous with each other, huh?! :-)

Chickend! It's funny how much hue and cry is created and candle-light vigil observed to bring perpetrators of killing crimes to justice; unfortunately, the vulnerable animals, highly endangered by (in)human taste buds aren't fortunate to have Facebook to share, blog to despair, or resort to justice and activism to seek all that's fair!

Until the bomb lasts, don't be Mum, bhai!

Why spend thousands on mountain biking in the Himalayas or dirt biking for a rush of adventure, when these can be experienced free of cost on each stretch of our very own Bombay roads; every day!:-)

Mr.Rahul Gandhi, we agree, 99% terror strikes have been prevented; though, in the current scenario, we aren't talking about your personal security! By the way, those lodged in VIP cells of a prison or occupying positions in power display no lesser signs of a terrorist all out to Bill (!) India.

Of course, security is hi-tech; it's Z-plus (!) and there, at the airport (by virtue of it being one!), 5-star hotels, within and outside palatial residences of Sinisters (!), bureaubrats (!), corporate tycoons (2G and 3G included!), phillum stars, cricketers, law-creepers (!), gun-wielding cavalcades, et al! Rest assured for the tax-paying commoners who sponsor this security, it's purely a (Bomb!)way of life!

Mr.Rahul Gandhi, your effort in terms of spending a night at an impoverished countryman's house in the grief-stricken and backward areas of India is much appreciated; I, of the gloomy middle-class, so much a part of India's growth (?) story, would be more than glad to play host to you for one occasion (that's all I can afford!) that will help you see how LPG will emerge bigger a deal than 2G and 3G! Ok, G?

Interesting to note how schools charge lakhs for admissions even as salaries paid are in the range of a few thousands!

Once upon a time, some years ago (!), one of my seniors expressed deep appreciation of ex United States VP, Al Gore's presentation depicting Global Warming, Environmental Pollution and destruction; with passage of time, the senior grew in ranks and now owns a fleet of three premium gas-guzzling sedans!

Thoroughly Fluence, Renault; impressionné!

Hey silly, tha' fish you just sought to treat your taste bud craves to be a Free Willy!

Mar-dia Suicide-raaz; everything's in a name!

When its Just-ice cold and melts away with passage of crime; isn't it time you took cues from IRONMAN, Mohan?!

Eco-nomadic Theory (patent awaited since bribe is yet-to-pay!); income of commoners remaining constant, rise in price is directly proportional to increase in scamflationary pressure propelled by ministerial and bureaucratic forces in monopolistic scampetition with each other to gain access to public wealth, causing widespread disparity and distress; RBI and CBI step in from time-to-time to control Interest and Fates!

Mr.Petroleum Minister, you farted the Gas out of LPG! BTW, would you be interested in advising our Crime Minister to issue some kind of diktat to all Sinisters and Ba(d)bus to start paying for fuel that run their senseless cavalcade of vehicles, and also pay rent for staying in lavish bungalows, which are pure public property?

Despite presence of mighty powerful women in the echelons of power and hullabaloo about women empowerment (?), it is a tragedy to witness crime against women on a steady rise each passing day! Ironically, the highest authority in the country is a woman President vacationing in the lush environs at tax-payer's expense even as the law (?) cries hoarse!

Animal frights; Tiger, Tiger, your bretheren are burnt alright in broad daylight, or to be served on a sumptuous platter in candlelight!

Price cries; rising vegetable prices, fuel prices, housing prices, grocery item prices. The only constant is leftover change!

...and then the downtrodden millions unaware of Baba's "Ramlila" or Anna's Anshan, remain compelled to fast until they last!

Yo dud(!) Papa ki gaddi; papa ka wallet; papa ki branded watch; papa ki gold chain; papa ki superbike; papa ke paise ka phoren vacation aur (wild!) party...aur bhi bahut kucch papa ka; completely shelf-made (!) Er, phir bhi bole Generation ME?!

Clean chit (funds!) to Pakistan; United States of America and its very own(ed) ISI mark of terror!

Increase in business revenue is inversely 'cool' to a drowning resource pool!

Law (?) authorities, please issue warnings to commoners in Bombay to keep away from the city's shoreline; Osama's Sin-Laden body has been immersed in the Arabian Sea that might just "trigger" a tsunami!;-)

Of project deadlines and business targets; hundreds grieve, a handful play, only one receives flak!

What the hell (!), even if men are from Mars and women from Venus, together they can create heaven on Earth! Let marriages be a rage forever after..!

Obama Wins Laden!

Even as cold blooded murder of innocent fellow human beings is condemned with an uproar of fury, it is (extremely!) painful to witness helpless animals getting slaughtered (despite their pleas for mercy and notwithstanding their anguish!) to suit the taste buds of humans (?) in form of an elaborate sumptuous meal. As goat as it gets?!

Star Plus Colors in HD "straying" lie standards in "never-aging" relationships; "rishta kahin, soch kahin"!

There's dea(r)th due to such (shameless) exhibition of numbers; Mukesh Ambani, your Ant(ilia) consumes more than 17,000 litres of water a day! In case you've forgotten, it all started in a one-room tenement in narrow bylanes of Bhuleshwar where people, to this day, wake up early in the morning to form gargantuan queues to fetch water. It is an irony how the rich continue to loot, even as the poor continue to "foot"!

India (Frightening!), Where Illegal Share. Sharad Singh; Manmohan Gandhi; Shahid Pawar; Rahul Balawa; Niira Dutt; Barkha Radia; Anil Tata; Ratan Ambani; A Kalmadi; Suresh Raja; Sonia Maran; Kanimozhi Jayalalitha; Sab Maya(vati) hai!

Bill phad, Anna; Hazare Khwaishein Aisi!

Mr.Cheap Sinister of Maharashtra, move beyond Bharat Ratna; there are more pressing and vital legislations to enact (and enforce) such as access to drinking water, health, sanitation, education, freedom of speech and expression (!), women empowerment, abolition of child labour, et al! BTW, isn't every commoner in this country a gem of a "Ratna" for all that she/he braves everyday just to see his loved one(s) smile?

Fake care, Garnier; an irony of pervertising promoting "milk protein" and "almonds" and "vitamins" for a flawless (?) skin, even as the stomach is fed with some (un)real junk food!

A broad perspective; couldn't help overhearing(!) some shallow talk on numerous n impending trips to UK/US..So resourceful (?) yet so empty!

Crack it? At the peak of its success during the 1950s and 60s, Indian football team was automatically advanced to play in the 1950 FIFA World Cup (all the other Asian teams withdrew), although it did not travel to the tournament in Brazil, won gold medals at two Asian Games, and held the record for best performance by an Asian football team at the Olympics!

The (im)mortals of hockey, badminton, shooting, soccer, et al, please don't lose heart; you've overcome bigger odds to bring fame to India as opposed to cricket where it took 28 years to win a World Cup despite crores in sponsorship money and world-class facilities!

There are many things Generation Me(an!) can't buy; for those many things, there's dad's credit card!

Bleed blue. Obviously, that's what happens when one consumes Pepsicide!

The cola company pervertises to change the game. Hasn't cricket ceased to be one?! Whoa, Pure infested Pepsicide!

King Alphonso, welcome! Dimes changed over the course of last one year; it is with a very heavy heart and an even lighter pocket that I have to let you (Man)go!

Uncle Sham, the target offensive is clearly crude (oil); can't you just live and let Libya?

Corporate meetings are (mere!) seatings that run into hours and documented in minutes!

Earth s(tr)ong; nowclear?

(In)human Sin-ami quakes Mother Earth. 8.9 is only mini-scale; She can get even Rich(t)er!

Be a Man, mohan; before you come to be known as the Crime Minister of India, please S(t)ingh!

The world is falling and here I am; a high-rise apartment in South Bombay. Sea-facing. Chauffeur-driven to business and elsewhere. Butlers to handle daily chores. Parties and friends!(??) It's all about the good life and free-doom; piece of mind guaranteed!

Love aaj kal is an air-conditional mystery that soon cools off to become history; there are so many things money can't buy for whom the poor wallet wants to cry!

Eco-Gimmix. A daily increase in prices of vegetables, followed by a weekly increase in prices of groceries, clothing and housing, accompanied by a monthly increase in prices of fuel and LPG, is completely disproportinate to the annual-yet-marginal increase (????) in salaries.

"Save The Tiger"; an impossible catch for an everyday meal. Other species, pray; we're just Being Human!

O baby, just hold my hand; I lust you so, can't let you go! Can't you see, my love for you is a (mere!) token in times of commit-meant to be broken!

Honesty is the best policy only if one has a life insurance!

Mr.Dharma-Mohan Singh, if coalition-over-country is indeed dharma, then coalition of terrorists attacking India and taking lives of innocent people as well as crimes being committed by a coalition of criminals against innocent children and hapless women is also dharma! Similarly, coalition of business partners looting the country through a 50:50 (con!)joint venture is business dharma. Er, then what would be adharma?

With organizational managements looking and talking the BIG picture that's exemplary-yet-beyond-interpretation (!), the smaller-yet-vital details soon start to appear B-grade to me, the employee at the grassroot! Did anyone say to look at the human side of resources?

All (ward)robes refuse to function. Bisou-Bisou, Gucci, Pierre Cardin, Prada, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent, summer collection, winter collection, monsoon collection...yeah baby yeah, you're the atta girl and we know you've got it in you! And now that we know, er, would you mind covering up?(!)

Sheila, Munni aur Yeh Saali (remixed!) Zindagi. Jaane Bhi do Yaaron, Chupke Chupke, Indian cinema has shed all inhibitions to allow Saat Khoon Maaf! Gen-X/Y, feel real sorry for you, since you might not be even aware how the good (old-is-gold!) Golmaal stood for some pure classic entertainment!

One man amidst eight vacant seats. Don't blame the traffic jam; it's a streetcar named Desire!

Baby, this wallet-times day (!), I promise to love you for all that's in my shopping cart!

An ode to the scamflationary times we live in: In Strife or Debt, We Shall Always Remain!

Unfortunately, Bombay isn't going to the dogs. Else, it surely would have been a city led by those loyal to their subjects; those who would be faithful, honest and committed to their tasks as well as those who would have restored Bombay to its original pristine glory by ridding the city of all the lawless shit!

No train without sprain in the city of screams! Now, whoever thought Bombay is only about jazz by the (back!) bay, probably hasn't boarded the 8.00 pm Virar Fast, yet!

Malaika, Katrina, Priyanka and all ye dearth-of-talent, your urge to eat less and wear even lesser is understandable; in such shy (!) times, there couldn't have been a more celebrity way to keep kitchen fires burning. Kitchen? Er, yes, a place within a household where me, belonging to the struggle-class, juggles for food!

Client service is of two kinds: internal and external. In most cases, it is the former!

Ads depicting daredevil stunts in television commercials display warning signs of "please don't imitate" at the bottom of the screen in fonts as small as can get (!), which is such a ridiculous thing! Of course, advertisers assume that children are born with binocular vision to read the warning, are literate to comprehend and shall not copy action under any circumstances!

United States of Egypt led by Mubarack Hosni Obama!

From Pyramid (tirades!) of Giza to cries in Cairo, all call for Freegypt.

Business Process Improvement. If it has to be, then its up to me. And she. And he. And they. By the bye, processes can fail when communication is frail!

India and its boomeranging (!) economy; (only!) a select few disturbingly-known-yet-startling facts:
1. Acording to World Bank estimates, 80 per cent of India's population lives on less than $2 (about Rs 92) a day
2. India accounts for 50 per cent of the world's hungry
3. Over 46 per cent of Indian children are undernourished

No'real. How FMCG giants are all out to change impressions (and definitions!) about all that's fair and lovely; of course, it's only because we think they're worth it!

Mr.Finance Minister, you'd be extremely glad to learn that me, the commoner, has been able to understand what currency devaluation actually means! Simple. When I (take courage!) go to the market these days, I ensure to carry a Rs.1,000 note to purchase the limited number of essential goods that Rs.100 bought me until a few years ago. No grain without paying!

On a shady note, it must have taken a lot of Delhi-dialing before the Indian Administrative Swindler (IAS!) couple amassed wealth as vast as 25 residences!

Justice? So Slaw!

India's Law'st kero-scene is used to burn custodians of law in daylight oil. Did someone say, don't take the oil in your tanks?

Pro-public day. Your honor (alone?), the CJ of India, having slammed the Government (?) on black money vacationing abroad, you might also like to shed some light on those who lack money. After all, it's all about (OUR!) hard-earned money; seriously, not funny.

Dare-A-Singh? Only few Grahams of Staines.

What bigger an irony for kids than to grow up watching celebrities (?) who, despite endorsing some world-leading clothing brands, go topless or minus innerwear shooting in daylight! Now, whoever said that the kids of today are confused on value systems, probably didn't know where to go clothing. Er, well?

Bombay, the threat to your security isn't from outsiders; it is from within, from your own people, to kill you slow (and full!) The siege comprises some real-State gas-guzzling malls, (empty-and-unaffordable!) residential towers and a green cover steadily being replaced by a concrete jungle (!). Bombay, you're a disaster-in-waiting and I am (only!) sorry.

Dear Governor of RBI, me, the commoner, with little to earn and much to spend, fails to see impact of an increase in money supply or your control of it! Of course, you need to justify your job and perks and hence resort to such measures from time to time! Though, could you draft a policy to control excessive (black!) money supply to our coveted officers under the various administrative (?) services and their bosses?

Being a (mute!) spectator of contemporary India's Moral, Societal and Political scampaigns, I wonder if this is indeed the land that produced such legends as Asoka, Chanakya, Chandragupta, Ram, Krishna, Kabir, Karna, Bhishma, Rani Laxmibai, Razia Sultan, Mother Teresa, Shivaji, Bhagat Singh, Chandrasekhar Azad, Mohandas Gandhi........

Investors, a glimpse of the Indian infra outside the AC suites of power, I tell ya? Imagine a (extremely!) rare sight of a 20-feet wide road in Bombay, India's fin cap. How does the break-up (!) appear? Well, about 8-feet is "reserved" for hawkers who sell wares with a roaring spirit of entrepreneurship! Cars parked in the most united fashion occupy another 4 feet. Finally, some of the real mean machines struggle to exercise their muscle with whatever space remains. Pedestrians? Er, will get back to you on this one.

Mr.Finance Minister, as an honest (?) citizen of this country, I shall soon file my tax (without any!) returns with whatever little (?) I am able to save. Sire, in light of recent boom in prices of luxury items, viz, vegetables and pulses, I have a humble suggestion to have provisions in the tax statement extending a rebate to those who acquire (!) these hard-earned assets!

Security can be a very treacherous form of terror.