Sachin, we've laid the pitch for your selection in Rajya Sabha and sincerely hope that you don't lose sight of the CORE that needs to achieve to make a difference! In case you mean business for the people's cause, rest assured that the chase won't be at a fun rate, and will have googlies and fret lee super fast fouls coming your way; what's more, these will be cast at you by your own team mates! Notwithstanding all the restrictions, the audience in the stands expects you to wield your bat for the billion; the need of the hour is a clean sweep for development and social causes, past long gone (!), crossing all boundary lines and into the hinterlands of India! Are you willing to do your bit to revive and Boost the secret of our depleting energies by providing ek boond Zindagi ki?! Bas?

Plenty third June and no sign of rain! Bombay, ever wondered why it's Hot, Fright (!) and Sunny on what should otherwise have been a rainy day? Naturally, the girth of greed, dEARTH of HUMAN breed and an unquenchable thirst for need, have severely ravaged Mother Nature's control room in a man-slayed fashion; isi liye abhi jo garajte hain, woh baraste nahin!

Mrs.President of India, you're bound to get restless and nostalgic! After all, it's only the Indian bureaucracy that offers easy jail-outs, free lunches, lavish dinners, all-expenses paid foreign sojourns for self, pets, friends and family, hi-tech security and all luxuries of palatial living! By the way, I can imagine what you must be going through; if me, the commoner, gets Monday morning blues once weekends come to a closure, understandably after 5 years of sitting idle and living a life of sponsored luxury (even as the country haplessly prayed in worry!) allowing a new incumbent to occupy your (?) rooms in the Rashtrapati Bhavan would be a painful proposition! Though, now that it is decided that you got to go, whom do you support? Pranab? Kalam? Sangma? Er, for me the commoner, it matters little; the ultimate kingpin is always some where Sonia! Until next time, Pratibha Part till we meet again!

Rain rain please don't go away, please Monsoon at the earliest today; Standard & Poors are out to flay India's junk ratings on Global display!

Mr.Prime Minister, you see, Bombay's fledgling infra-fracture really needs a boost! Of course, ecocomically speaking, the solution lies in creating opportunities in hinter lands, with a caveat of not restricting these opportunities to mere mundane jobs paying a sustenance livelihood (?!) of Rs.66 per day! By the way, you might have heard of the forever under-construction Metro Fail (!) in Bombay, being built by one of your close aides, Reliance on whom is becoming a traveller's fright, all through the day and late into the night! If the always-under-construction Metro wasn't enough, one can see completed subways contructed below the main line, and flyovers under-construction above it, parallel to an empty sky-walk devoid of human folk, who are running behind schedule on over-crowded roads that have been either dug or re-routed to another lane by the city's municipal corporation for a "better tomorrow"! Could you capitalize (!) your relations with the contractor (!) and tell him, "Dhiru Dhiru nahin, Jaldi Karo Bhai Ambani?!"

Tire companies, now you don't need to spend millions on setting up labs to test durability of tires on Indian roads, one of the farcest (!) growing car markets in the world; simply fix the brand of your tire on to some vehicle and get it driven on roads of Bombay during the monsoon season! This way, you will be able to test shocks and struts (!) on tires, as well as measure great (!) road depths at which your brand of tires are able to with hold pressure and tension of the car as well as the car-driver and all that swear and tear!

Ms.Faketa Kapoor, having earned fame by creating all that's lame in a household's name, are you considering leveraging creativity (?) to diversify into other businesses like matri-money-all alliances and count-selling break-ups due to dalliances?! Beauty treatments and anti-ageing franchise promising a youthful disappearance (!) from this world would also bring in hordes of customers! If that doesn't suffice, real estate consulting is lucrative business, whereby the riddled-class, currently living by each sq ft, would be able to realise their dream of living in palatial houses as shown in your serial killers! Costumes as seen (?) in 'The Dirty Picture', the picture that you produced, shows the fashion connoisseur that you are; sell more that wears less - what a profitable venture! By the way, the few expressions above are solely that of the author; resemblance to any person living, dead or coming alive after death (!) is coincidental. All frights re-served.

Mr.Finance Minister, have you ever considered handing over reins to a battle-amassed (!) housewife who could do a better job at managing the country's finances? There are hundreds of thousands of such WORKING women (strictly, not the celebrity "entrepreneurial" Page 3 types!) in Bombay and elsewhere in India who manage their household budgets amidst much STRESS, yet with such alacrity that would put skills (?) and Global education degrees of the members of Planning Commission from India to flame!