Jaane Bhi do, Paris! As if your scary histrionics on screen and off it weren't enough, you have now evinced interest in acting (?) in a Bollywood phillum! Now then, you have a sharp acumen to identify how dearth of talent and taste in a be-skinny industry shall pose no competition as far as acting skills are concerned! Nonetheless, for good sake of exceptions like me who PAY a cinema hall once in (many!) years (spiraling infuelation, you know!) with hopes of even a little entertainment, it's a sincere request to you to please restrict your self to selling handbags ONLY!

Conman, Mohan. Waise toh saare mulk ki pulis inhe dhoondh rahi hai, par inhe pakadna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai! Kyon? Kyonki aaj unke paas Raja hai, Kalmadi hai, Mayawati hai, Balwa hai, Radia hai, absolute Pawar hai; you see, Sonia yet so far! Aur hamare paas kya hai? Kambakht aaj hum jahaan khade hote hain, line wahin pe khatam hoti hai!

Surreal Estate. Home Sq Feet Home presents a complex with ready ultra-modern amenities like olympic pool, ozone pool, Schindler's Lift (!), gym etc; also Proposed drinking water and power connection; rail, airport, market nearby (pothole and traffic conditions apply); loan available at (strictly personal!) interest rates; we offer all this and much more to ensure that your dream home remains a far-fetched dream!

Ecocomics. At INR 800 per cylinder, India's riddled-class will cook (!) a story each night to put the kids to sleep: ''beta so ja, sapnon mein khana aa jayega!''

‎5th senior citizen murdered in span of one month in the city; Bombay, simply not Human, Right?! All talk about your progression (?!) and status as the financial capital of the country, etc is only a façade until such time that the Aged, Women and Children aren't safe and secure within their own home they fondly call Bombay!

It's a (corporate) jungle out there staging third-rate races in shooting and shirking; what the hell, people still talk of tycoons, huh?!

Tihar? Bail.

‎6.33pm at Dadar railway station, there's something so Ladies Special that makes men stand upright and fake notice!

Domino's, be grounded. Why to open an outlet on the moon when potholed roads in Bombay are even deeper and offer similar experiences of being a Kill Armstrong?!

Man, mohan! India is turning into a complete Annarchy; atleast now you'll Singh?!

Ms.Patil, why don't you set a President (!) in this country whereby mercy petitions of convicts (and terrorists) on death row are disposed off in a timebound manner of months? Understandably, a paid vacation of 5 years in the Rashtrapati Bhavan was an offer you couldn't refuse; however, the crimelines are too demanding and the people of this country want you to work from home!